RANK RANK

(December ‘96/#25)

MASTER GOD OF THE UNIVERSE

al case

666 Heavenly Way

ALL MARTIAL ARTS TAUGHT!

Perhaps you are wondering at my new business card. Please don’t. It was necessary for several reasons.

First, it proves that I am better than you, therefore I can teach you.

Second, because I am so much better than you I can charge you more money.

Third, it’s better than the one the guy down the street has, so his students will become my students.

Fourth, it looks really neat on my desk.

Fifth…

Enough? Okay, here is what I am saying.

‘Business card,’ a small rectangle of thick paper for imparting information to potential customers of a business.

How about:

Al Case

Instruction in Karate

call 666-6666

Well, maybe it is a little too sparse, but you get the idea.

What brings this Case History about is people’s obsession with rank.

Some time ago my editor told me that a particular martial term meant ‘God.’

The martial art in question is quite above suspicion, but the titles involved are a bit more than a rabid scriptwriter on LSD might come up with. The fact is that there are probably things within that culture, or that culture’s linguistics, which justify the terminology. But, as a writer, I have to admit I was taken with the potentials of the terms, especially when put together with American’s obsession with rank.

People who brag about rank are invariably low esteem, insecure, childish persons with not much real accomplishment.

After all, why would they be trying to put themselves up if they didn’t feel down? Right?

A real black belt wouldn’t be caught dead bragging.

‘Brag,’ to talk or declare boastfully.

‘Boast,’ to talk about with excessive pride.

‘Pride,’ conceit, arrogance.

And you can believe what I am saying here because I am just the best writer and the greatest black belt alive!