A Great Martial Arts Screenplay!


(Oct ‘98/#44)

I have always thought a great movie plot would be:

A mysterious master comes to town. He is dressed head to foot in black, and even his face is covered with a black shroud. And, as you might guess, he opens a dojo and begins insulting the established master in town.

The students of the masters run into each other in the local billiard parlor and talk escalates to insults to fighting.

I know what you are thinking–this has been done a million times in Chinese cinema! Bear with me, I have a twist that will make a Chinese puzzle dizzy.

So the fighting escalates until number one students are facing off. In the grand finale it is revealed that the black master and the white master were the same person! He opened up a ‘rival’ school to see which of his arts were best, and which of his students deserved to inherit the best teaching!

Cool, huh?

Well…one day, not too long ago, two private schools were at a park in LA for a day of athletic contest. During the course of the activities a student from one school starting bouncing a basketball on the head of a student from the other school.

“Hey! Knock it off!” the second student said to the first.

The first student, being somewhat of a class cut up, continued dribbling on the cranium of the second.

The situation escalated.

Words became heated.

And, the next thing you know, the two students were involved in a massive fight! Blows were struck, kids began yelling, and teachers ran to see what the ruckus was about.

Well, I hate to say it, but I had been teaching martial arts at both schools, and both students had been trained by me–and they didn’t know it!

And I didn’t even have to wear a black shroud!

At any rate, I, being responsible for the situation, was called in.

If you have to ask why I was responsible when I wasn’t there then your training has been sadly lacking.

I sat the two students down.

“Who won?” I asked.

The students looked at each other, and agreed that it was student number two.

“I thought so,” I nodded my head. “I’ve only been teaching you karate for two months,” I said to student one, “and I’ve been teaching him karate for three years.”

The students’ eyes bugged and they stared at each other.

I focused on student number one, the instigator. “You’d better study harder if you don’t want keep losing fights.” I dismissed him.

Not much of a punishment, eh? I was sure, however, that by retaining him as a student I could find plenty of opportunity over the next couple of years to punish him adequately, and maybe instill a train of thought that would eclipse the desire to fight.

Besides, you only punish commensurate to the ability to understand the crime.

And, to the second one, I said, “How come you lost?”

“But I won!” He protested.

“You lost by even getting in a fight.”

He hung his head.

This was the student I was going to hang out to dry.

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